


The Clever Farmer's Daughter

by Corycides



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Random story snippet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 08:11:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corycides/pseuds/Corycides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very clever princess and a very cunning imp are never to agree on anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Clever Farmer's Daughter

Once upon a time there was a Princess who didn't have very much truck with magic at all. She was sharp and funny and maybe had poor taste in men, but most Princes in stories that start 'once upon a time' are gits, so we will allow her that. Besides, he liked her more for being smart than pretty and that was worth a lot to her.

The Imp paced back and forth in front of the fire, hands clasped behind his back. His toady iridescent features were set in a petulant scowl. She stitched patiently away at her embroidery. It was not a skill that she, raised running wild on her father's farm, had much skill at, but it pleased the Queen so she persisted. From a distance, if you didn't squint, she could almost be a proper lady.

'I could make you the richest woman in the realms,' he tried.

She bit off a thread and spat the tail end out. 'I am going to be Queen already.'

The Imp brightened, straightening up. 'I could make it happen sooner.'

'No need,' the princess said, sucking the end of a new bit of thread. 'We get on well enough, she thinks I am a good influence. And being Queen seems hard work.'

The Imp gave her a reproachful look, as if she had roused his hopes deliberately (she had), and went back to pacing. Now he muttered to himself as well. She lined up the wet thread with the eye of the needle, poked and missed.

'I could make you wealthy.'

'Still a princess,' she reminded him.

Struck by a sudden idea he bounced over and dropped into a crouch, all bony joints and angles. His cold, hand hands gripped her knees through silk and lace.

'A baby! Do you not want a little prince or princess to dandle on your knee.'

'Not really,' she admitted. He spluttered and she shrugged. 'Oh, I know I must or be set aside. But I have little interest in babes, never have had. So, I am in no rush.'

'What about a special babe?' the imp cozened. 'One born no bigger than a kitten, but grown to manhood in a day, T'would save you all sorts of labour.'

She pursed her lips and he held his breath.

'I think that would just alarm people,' she said eventually. Her voice went prim. 'And it would be most expensive to keep him clad.'

Frustrated the Imp hopped to his feet and went spinning about the room. The princess ignored him and finally threaded her needle.

'No gown as silver as the moon or golden as the sun, no love or spite, no revenge, no sisters or brothers, no power and no glory and no riches,' the Imp stormed. 'I will find a way to strike a deal with you, Princess Wantsfornothing.'

'There is one thing I want,' she said slowly.

'What?' the Imp demanded. 'A heart made of ruby, a horse that flies and farts fire? I beg of you, what?!'

'I want you to never harm, bring to harm or place in the way of harm my family,' the princess said promptly. 'Harm being defined by me as any interference in their lives or the lives of those connected to them.,

The Imp had his mouth open and the first sound of y out before his brain caught up with his greed. He snapped his jaw shut so hard a little sliver of tongue went flying. He jabbed a bony, black nailed finger into her face. 'You will not be rid of me, so easy as that.'

He left in a mood and the storm and the princess finished her embroidery. It was a dragon that looked like a cow, or a cow that looked like a dragon depending on how you looked at it.

It had been worth a try.


End file.
